The gym.
It represents so many things for so many people. For me, it’s a mental release as much as a physical one. A place where my thoughts can decompress while lifting weights. Where I can skip out on the problems of the world while pedaling a stationary bike.
It’s the kind of place I go to, for my own sanity. But there can always be improvements.
I could find a gym of all women.
No Talking!
There are some who turn the gym into a social event. While they gab away, I watch and assume it must be mouth day. Tomorrow will be for legs.
I don’t talk. To be honest I hate talking at the gym. It messes up my physical flow. It shatters my mental state. So I won't talk if I can help it.
I don’t approach people. Beyond asking if someone is using something, I won’t utter a sentence, a word, a salutation.
Leave me be and I’ll do the same for you.
And yet it’s men, always men, who want to have a conversation. To chit-chat. I’m surprised some don’t wander with a Thermos of coffee to offer a cup while conversing.
Old guys at the gym love to talk. Love it. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to go home, or they have nothing else to do, or they’re putting off their honeydew list. I don’t know, but once roped in, that workout is either shot or will be significantly delayed.
It’ll start with a question about a particular lift and devolve into them talking about J. Edgar Hoover.
And yet they are not the only talkers. There are the ones who insist on talking while I’m mid-lift (dangerous), or those who just absolutely need to know what a particular tattoo represents.
And it’s always men.
I go to the gym every day. If there’s a week where I went six times it was an off week. I’ve been to gyms all around the country. And it’s always been men.
So could I please join an all women's gym and work out in peace?
Too Many Dicks
I mean this in both a figurative and literal sense.
Early gym time is old man gym time. And that means miles and miles of naked old men wandering the locker room halls.
There is no modesty. It’s just all, right there, waiting for the world to catch a glimpse. Even when there’s a shower with a connecting changing room, the old men prefer to return to their lockers and do it for their audience.
I hate it.
When going to the gym in the morning I have to keep my eyes on the ceiling while entering the locker room. Because, if not, I’ll turn around the corner and happen upon someone doing very strange stretches, which just happen to perfectly expose ass and dong at the same angle.
Too many dicks.
And yet, there are times later in the day where a different breed of dicks struts the gym. They are the ones with the self-made sleeve shirts. The ones that are wearing Aviator sunglasses, the ones that will sing to be heard while doing those little hand movements that rappers do while performing.
Don’t get me wrong, I have zero issues with ripped dudes actually working out. The ones who, like me, are just there to get their lift in and then be on their way. It’s the guys, much like many of the old men, who are there for the audience.
I’ve never been inside the women’s locker room, and I haven’t noticed the strutting women in the gym doing nothing but casting nets for attention.
There are days where I can’t decide if I’d rather be around literal or figurative dicks.
But I’d rather be in a gym with all women.
Ego Lifting and Wasting Time
Oh, god. The ego lifting that takes place in gyms around the country is unreal.
The guys that have to prove their strength, so they load up some machine or press, make all the noise in the world, then lower the weight by half an inch before racking the weight and pounding their chest.
Now, if a guy wants to waste his time with ego lifting that’s his prerogative. I just hate it because it takes up all the weights. Like, bro, that’s cool and all, but are you done wasting your time, because I’ve got stuff to do and you’ve confiscated all the weight plates in the gym.
Now, truth be told, I have seen, on rare occasions, women ego lifting. But I can also count the number of times on one hand. If there were enough weights in a gym for this to happen and for me to continue on with my workout that would be fine. But there’s usually not, and I have things to do.
So, again, can I be in a gym with all women?
I Can Dream, Can’t I?
I’m not going to the gym to meet people or pick people up. I see guys doing that all the time. Heck, just last night I saw a guy go up to a girl on a machine and ask if she’s using it. Like literally ask a girl who is physically using a machine if she’s using it...She said she had one more set. He kept talking to her for a few minutes, but then just stood there. After finishing her set the guy put down his Pedialyte sports drink (you know, the one that until a few years ago was specifically for little children), performed a series of stretches on the machine (not a stretching machine), then grabbed his kid’s sports juice and walked away.
That stuff drives me crazy. I’m sure it drives the women who have to deal with it even crazier.
The truth is, the worst part of going to the gym are guys that are at the gym. You don’t like them there and neither do I.
I don’t care what anyone is wearing at the gym. Heck, I don’t even make eye contact. I just want to get in, do my thing, and leave. I think the only way to do that would be to find an all women’s gym...that would accept me into the club.
Do you know of any?