When Someone Discovers You Wrote About Them
It might be true, but that doesn't mean they're going to like it.
Why hello there!
I hope you’ve been doing fantastic! It’s been a little while since we’ve talked like this!
Hopefully the weather is treating you well. It’s cold right now in Buenos Aires, and I’m very quickly running out of dog sweaters.
I’ve had a few things come up that I wanted to share.
First, I had so much fun putting together my last romance novel that I put out a romantic thriller book. It’s a fun summer read (in my humble opinion!). I’d love for you to check out “A Photo to Die For.”
Beyond that, for fans of NPR’s Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me I will appear on this weekend’s airing for a few minutes.
I was also interviewed for Podcast One’s Cheating: When Love Lies podcast, so give that a listen! (and if you’d like, let them know I sent you their way).
But for now, I’ll leave you to your upcoming weekend. And, as always, I hope you’re doing exceptionally well!
-Greyson
When Someone Discovers You Wrote About Them
I walked into the gym. The same time as every morning for the past several months.
Checking in, I saw the woman behind the front desk. Fitted black polo and white cap on her body, business on her face. The manager.
We locked eyes and I smiled. An attractive woman with an even better-looking smile. She had no such smile for me that morning. She looked past my shoulder, then away. Before a task called for her attention back in her office.
Strange. We often shared brief conversations in the morning. Exchanged a few jokes. Occasionally made plans for the evening.
The next day more of the same. Always work in the office. Always something else to focus on. I started to wonder. Did she know?
Several weeks into the unusual activity I received my answer. Walking along a row of equipment she turned the corner and approached. We had to walk past each other. I looked to her, presented my own smile, and began offering a, “hello.”
She rejected my offering of salutations, instead, turning her attention to the nothingness to her side. We passed each other, and I had my answer.
She knew I had written about her. She had read the story.
Exposing Oneself to Oneself
I do what I can to crack myself open and spill out the inner yolk of experience. Whether detailing the failure of marriage or my shortcomings in relationships, I do what I can to offer the truth, even if that yolk has a few bits of shell in it.
I also avoid giving names. Because while what I write about comes from my past, most of these events are shared. I don’t attempt to offer assumptions on their feelings, or fill in gaps with plausible emotions on their part.
At least I try not to. They have their own stories of shared events with me. Their emotions and feelings are their own.
It’s also why I don’t name names.
The only individuals who would know I’m exposing our story would be the other person in the shared story. Nobody else.
Now, there are those who would not be difficult to uncover. Any Internet sleuth could easily uncover the identity of my former wife. Public records make that easy enough.
But beyond that, nobody else knows.
And yet it still exposes that person to their own feelings. It forces them to relive the event through my eyes. Maybe it’s similar to their own recollection. Perhaps it’s different. In the case of the gym manager, I’ll never know.
(And don’t worry, I have not gone to that gym in some time, and she has not managed the gym in even longer).
Be Honest And Be Careful
If you offer to retell the shared events with others, no matter your chosen medium, all you can be is honest.
There’s no need to oversell or inject growth hormones into the story. Readers, viewers, and listeners, we just want honesty. As raw and as unwashed as you can offer. While you might not owe it to us, you do owe it to the people you shared those events with.
Because they will know.
And yet, even then, wounds heal differently. What might be scar tissue for one may be infected, open tissue for another. Beating hearts are not all the same. Damaged minds process these events differently.
My wife is now remarried. I haven’t had a long-term partner probably since her, over a decade ago. Perhaps she moved on faster. Maybe I held on longer.
Everyone is different.
I didn’t fabricate anything about the gym manager. But it obviously struck a nerve. Pillow talk not meant to be shared. Normally I don’t confide the activities of dates with readers. That particular date proved so out of the ordinary, so unusual, I couldn’t help it.
Just know, if you ever share insights into life experiences with others, whether it’s with a friend or with the world online, you can be as honest and open and real as you want, it might still hurt and anger the person involved in your story.
Does that mean you should stop?
It’s still your story to tell.
So it’s up to you.
Books!
Want to “Rent” one of my books without paying for it? Here’s a free 30-day trial to Kindle Unlimited! You can then read the books without ever buying them!
Pre-Order my new suspense romance thriller, “A Photo to Die For.”
If you want a quick, fun summertime read, check out my latest romance novel, “The Forbidden Book Club.”
Maybe you’d like to read more about other travels I’ve done? Grab, “Travel For the Soul (Even if You Don’t Have One).”
Grayson, where is the link to the article? You KNOW we all want to read it now and see the tea you spilled! With love and respect~ A fellow writer